Making time to love and be loved
(This was an article in Tony and Tricia’s newsletter)
We talk a lot about love don't we?
About how important it is and how precious and how it makes the world go round.
But how much time do we really take to create the space for love - some might even say - the sacred space for love - with our loved ones - our relationship partners?
Tricia and I have been together for 32 years - yes I know...that's a LOOOONG time...and this past weekend we took ourselves off on a brave journey to a workshop in Wales.
It was a workshop for couples who wanted to take time out to rediscover the love that can so easily get buried underneath layers of habit, complacency and everything else that can seemingly end up becoming more important than the two of you.
The experience was a gift - and although it seems a little vulnerable sharing this with you - I think it is really important to do so because I know that we are not alone in both the struggle and desire to keep our love fresh and our relationship alive - I believe it's what we all want - to love and be loved.......it's that simple. So if you want to make more time for love with your partner and maybe, like us, you might need some help to get started, I can thoroughly recommend finding out more about the work Priya and Bob do though their company - 'Intimacy Works'.
The first step is definitely a bit scary but you should know by now that most things worth doing are scary!!! Priya and Bob are brilliant at what they do and that makes ALL the difference in signing up for something this...well...intimate.
Professional Endorsement: They excel in the area of conscious communication
Priya and Bob have a very natural and truly empathic style of listening and feeding back their insights to couples and individuals. They excel in the area of conscious communication, with genuine warmth, integrity, humour and heart.
Director, Facilitator, Diamond Light Tantra
I loved the informality of the workshop
I loved the informality of the workshop I went to with my partner. We had been avoiding each other for years, although love was there underneath, while bringing up our child, we had forgotten how to be together. The atmosphere was frank and open. It was like there wasn’t anything wrong you could say or do, and I felt that I could totally share with him how I really feel about stuff while he(had to) listen. Then he did his sharing. That was a key to being together; listening. And it has made a huge difference in our day to day life.
Down to earth, warm, caring and respectful of boundaries
We felt very stuck and frustrated knowing that we loved each other but also not-(for many historical reasons in our respective backgrounds) able to show our love towards each other. This was hampered by problems in our ability to communicate on a very basic level.
We found you and Bob to be very down to earth people, warm, caring, respectful of boundaries but appropriately encouraging by challenging fears and helping both partners express themselves without either one feeling that you favour the other- or feel the other has a greater problem.
I really love your newsletter
Hi Priya and Bob
I really love your newsletter and the article "It's the Little Things....was a wonderful reminder for me. I can get so hooked on the "doing" and then forget about the "being" with myself and in my relationship with John.
Keep up the good work
A good balance of group work and couple time
Thank you for an excellent day. We have been to many couple's events and it was by far the most valuable. You provided a safe place, the exercises were well structured and enabled us to go deeper gradually and there was a good balance of group and couple time that was very supportive.
A safe space to share
Priya and Bob create a safe space for participants to share in.
They gave us an opportunity to interact in a deep way, away from distraction. There was a supportive sense of being heard when sharing difficult things.
There was a lovely balance of sharing in the group and doing exercises in pairs. We got the chance to learn from the group, from Priya and Bob and from each other.
As a result of the workshop we have since taken time......to let the love flow!
Priya and Bob are a perfect blend of openness, steadiness and forthrightness. Their heartfelt listening, allowed me to open up and relax when I joined one of their workshops with my wife.
I found particularly useful an exercise when my wife and I sat opposite each other and one of us asked a question the other one just listened. Questions such as "what do I do to prevent love flowing between us"? and "how do I keep love flowing between us"?, enabled me to open up and allow my love to flow to my gorgeous wife of 25yrs.......love that I had been holding back!
As a result of the workshop we have since taken time, to spend weekends together with the express purpose of reawakening intimacy and ......to let the love flow!
Tai Chi Teacher
Participant Feedback Questions and Answers (2)
What was it like before you came to us ?
We are a loving couple, but very, very busy, have done 2 workshops now and feel it was worth every minute, what's more we will come back!
How was it for you to encourage your partner to come or did you decide together to attend ?
It was not difficult to convince each other.
Were you sceptical before coming along ?
No. Just looking forward to a new experience..
How was your experience at the workshop ?
It was the most beautiful time to be together and to be with likeminded people, we felt very intimate from the start, the atmosphere in the room was like landing on a soft but exciting little cloud. And Priya with her beautiful sexy voice made us feel as if we wanted to listen to her all the time. It is something we love to do together, spend great time together, but we hardly make the time or have the time which is a shame really, but being in this beautiful place, there was no excuse!!
How safe did you feel at the workshop ?
Very safe. It was also interesting to be in a small group
Did you get enough help with issues that came up ?
Yes, the group discussions were marvellous, it was quite an experience to listen to others and see how many people share the same experiences and never have the opportunity to talk about them so openly. Bob was great to enable the group to take as much time as was needed, even if this meant that other exercises would not happen. And Priya and Bob with their wealth of experience made time for everyone.
Was it a challenging weekend ?
Yes, but very positive challenges, I suppose this is different for everyone and you can always choose to take it easy at any time, or ask for special support from Bob and Priya or any of the other participants.
Did you feel your choices were respected ?
Did you feel you and your partner had enough privacy ?
Yes. Also the location is so beautiful, that is a bonus of course, but nevertheless it is very romantic in an around Croydon Hall. And our private room was really great.
What was particularly useful or beneficial ?
The time we could spend together, the very open talking and listening to each other about our dreams, wishes, desires, anything really.
How have things changed since the event?
No, but that was not the reason we attended.
Professional Endorsement: Shining lights of integrity in this field
I have always enjoyed working with Priya and Bob in joint projects. They are shining lights of integrity in this field. They offer a safely held space and great care so that learning and love can flourish.
Facilitator, Secret Garden