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Keeping Your Love Alive Dialogue

Today I want to give you an actual taste of something we offer in our workshop. Not only might that make you decide to book on a workshop right now!! but it will also offer you a concrete exercise that you can take away and do with your special other or maybe a close friend in your life.

It’s called the Keeping Our Love Alive Dialogue and it goes like this….

Before anything else, make sure you have at least 30 mins of uninterrupted time together…phones switched off!

Settle down together comfortably and close enough that you can easily hear one another and maybe have a little physical contact, like touching a knee or hands…whatever feels right.

Then take a look at one another  and say Hello! and take a few deep breaths. Maybe a giggle may break through at this point….what are we doing? Giggles are good things…

Then you are going to take it in turns to ask each other three questions in a specific way…repeated questions. Each question is asked for around 3 mins….having a timer with you is helpful.
The one being asked will reply with various things that come to them spontaneously.

These are the three questions:

1. What currently is good about our love?
2. What do you do to keep our love alive?
3. What would you like more from me to keep our love alive 

When the first partner has asked the first question for 3 mins and got answers, then the other person asks them the same question in the same repeated way.

I’m realising this is tricky to describe in words so here is a real life example (gulp):

Bob: What currently is good about our love?
Pri: we spend time close on the sofa watching movies together.
Bob: What currently is good about our love?
Pri: that we often take time to share about our own concerns with one another and we listen well
Bob: What currently is good about our love?

Pri: that we have a regular date morning that is just time for us

When Bob has asked Pri that first repeated question for about 3 minutes, then it goes the other way around…Pri asks Bob in the same way….

Pri: What currently is good about our love? 
Bob: that we enjoy lazy time together on Sundays
Pri: What currently is good about our love? 
Bob: that we are appreciative of one another and let each other know it
Pri: What currently is good about our love? 
Bob: that we can be young and giggly together

Then we do the same thing again with questions 2 and 3. And that’s the whole thing.

Some pointers:

  • Take your time and do this slowly. No need to rush through these special questions.
  • Listen to each other’s answers and thank each other. That is: say thank you after each reply before asking the question again.
  • It may seem a somewhat ritualised structure. That’s because many of us need that kind of thing to feel safe enough to be honest. Also, it can go deep and surprising things can come out of it.
  • It can also be fun to do something in a specific way….it invites creativity                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        When you have done all the questions …              

Phew! Well done! Take a few breaths together and maybe have a hug.
Then you might like to chat about the things that surprised you or gave you good ideas or anything else you want to say.
But, be careful, stay loving and appreciative of what your partner says.
Enjoy yourselves.

If you do this exercise with someone special, it would be great to hear how you get on. Please let me know. Just EMAIL me.

If you do want to book on the workshop “Delicious ways to Deeply Connect With Your Partner” in which you can be led through this exercise and several others on Nov 16th  Just CLICK HERE for all the info and booking

With love to you and your relationship


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